Who Turk Palutena's Key?
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Lady Palutena loses her personal belongings. Meanwhile, Shadow The Hedgehog and Wolf O' Donnell try to hunt for the perfect turkey. How do these two subplots connect with each other? Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

It was a quiet, peaceful night at the Super Smash Brothers Brothel.

"AGH!" Exclaimed Lady Palutena as she was searching all over her room. "I can't find it!"

...it _was_ a quiet, peaceful night.

"Can't find what, Lady Palutena?" Pit asked as he poked his head into the room.

Palutena turned to Pit as she shook him violently. "My brown stained, brown colored underwear! I always wear it whenever I feel like 'baking brownies' without using the 'conventional oven'!

"...Ewwww!" Pit exclaimed as he buried his hands in his face, shaking his head. "Why must you be so disgusting, Lady Palutena!?"

"I bet it was that gross, jewish fatass, Wario. He always takes my yucky objects that I keep for my... kinks." Palutena stated as she clenched her right fist, standing tall as the American flag began waving behind her. "I shall not stand for this! I have to get my 'muddy' undies!" She then pushed Pit to the side, who was still disgusted, yet distraught.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, down the hallway in a dark corridor were Shadow The Hedgehog and Wolf O' Donnell, with both of them having guns as they were in front of a warp portal that would take them to a forest within the Autumn time, as they were going to get a turkey.<p>

"Are you sure that there are turkeys that taste perfect here?" Shadow asked Wolf as he adjusted his rifle.

Wolf nodded, rolling his right hand around with a grin. "Trust me, hedgehog, as soon as you get a taste of the birds from here, you'll never want to have any other turkey again. Master Hand and Crazy Hand assigned me to get the Thanksgiving turkey this year, and I always get my own personal turkeys from here."

Shadow shrugged. "Whatever you say." He then turned his head around to see Palutena dashing down the hallway, glancing back at Wolf, pointing at the green haired goddess. "What's gotten into her?"

"Probably something stupid. Now come on, that turkey ain't gonna hunt itself." Wolf stated as he dashed into the portal, with Shadow following closely behind. 


	2. Chapter 2

Lady Palutena was still on the lookout for her lost possessions as she stopped, to see Wario in his room, eating several garlic filled hamburgers. The green haired goddess ran in, jumping at Wario, causing the fat man to scream as they fell on the floor, with Palutena on top of Wario.

"Wah! What's the big idea!?" Wario exclaimed as he felt Palutena's weight crushing him.

"The idea is that you took my pastries, you fat German jew!" Palutena spat as she slapped Wario across the face, glaring at him. "Now where is it?"

"...I have no idea what you're talking about." Wario bluntly replied as he scratched his butt, sniffing it as he turned to Palutena. "Can you get off of me now?"

Palutena frowned as she released Wario, getting up and grabbing one of the burgers, munching on it much to Wario's shouts of anger as she walked out of his room. "If Wario didn't take it..." She mumbled to herself while eating. "...Who did...?"

* * *

><p>Shadow and Wolf were at the special Autumn zone, on the lookout for the prized turkeys, with Shadow getting quite annoyed as several minutes have passed, and not one turkey has appeared.<p>

"Where's that DAMN turkey?" Shadow growled as he clenched his hands on his gun.

Wolf sighed as he tilted his head to Shadow. "Now calm down, emo hog. It's not just one particular turkey we're searching for."

"I don't care, I just want a target to shoot!" Shadow snapped as he was willing to shoot Wolf.

Suddenly, they heard some gobbling nearby. Shadow and Wolf saw a turkey pop up out of the orange bushes, who stared at the two gun weilding mammals.

"Is that good enough for ya?" Wolf stated as he pointed at the turkey.

Shadow smirked, nodding as he cocked his gun. "Good enough, yes!" He then yelled as he began firing at the turkey, who began running for its life as Wolf followed, not wanting Shadow to scare away all the turkeys.


	3. Chapter 3

"GET OVER HERE, YOU DAMN, STUPID FUCKING BIRDS!" Shadow exclaimed as he was shooting at the turkeys crazily, with the wild birds avoiding him.

Wolf simply shook his head in disappoint as he just sighed. "Maybe I should have brought Lucario with us to keep him a bit more level headed..."

* * *

><p>"Keys! Oh my precious keys!" Lady Palutena cried as she was searching up and down and all around the Smash Mansion, bumping into Ashley the young red clad witch, who looked up at Palutena.<p>

"What's wrong with you, green hair?" Ashley remarked as she brushed back her black hair.

Palutena murmured as she held her hands close to each other, glancing down at Ashley. "I lost my keys and I can't find it. Maybe you can help. I tried asking that fat German jew Wario, but he said that he had no idea."

"...Wow." Ashley remarked as she shook her head, causing some of the furniture to begin floating. "I know that he can be quite a jerk and has a love for money, but are you really going that far?"

Palutena just meekly shrugged. "He doesn't seem offended by it."

"...Good point." Ashley remarked as she began picking her nose, snapping her fingers as she glanced at at Palutena. "Well, can you give me a good description of the keys?"

"Okay. They looked like this..." Palutena stated as she basically began doing charades for Ashley, who took out a notepad and wrote everything that she saw Palutena do, to keep it as a memo for later.


End file.
